Here's a party trick: bring a dollar to a party and see who will do something, anything for it.
On my way to a thing last night for Z & M, I bet Quarter Asian a dollar that he couldn't say to someone over the age of 40, "This shit's bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S." The condition was that 1) it had to be someone he'd never met before; and 2) it had to be within the context of a conversation.
Quarter Asian was, not surprisingly, a woman about it. I explained to him that I always bet people a dollar to do the most incredibly insane things, and you'd be amazed at what people are willing to do for it. It's not about the dollar -- it's about pride and the challenge, really.
By the time I'd finished a margarita, there was food to be eaten: fajitas (beef and chicken), queso, tortillas, you know the Tex-Mex drill. Two green chile hot sauces were near the end of the line with a little placard stating, "This is VERY hot. Be warned!"
"Whatev," I sniffed. "Look at that sauce: it's creamy. No creamy sauce could ever be that bad." Quarter Asian agreed. We both liberally garnished our fajitas before heading outside to join CG and Med School Guy.
Within five seconds of taking my first bite into my food, my mouth was about to fall off from the heat. Quarter Asian, who'd started eating by hoovering at least half of his fajita, broke out into a sweat. We both reached for margs to drown out the heat, which was wholly ineffective. The heat spread down into my throat, and my eyes started watering. It burned in my soul.
Med School Guy (MSG) was dubious and started mocking our weakness (who was he, anyway? Saving lives. Pish posh.) Then, seeing an opportunity, I laid my challenge.
"I bet you a dollar you can't eat two spoonfuls of this sauce AND not drink anything for 5 minutes afterwards."
Predictably, MSG agreed. I scooted off to grab a plate with 4 tortilla chips and two tablespoons of the creamy devil. MSG ate the entire plate in about 10 seconds.
The only way I can describe what ensued next is kind of on the level of Sally Field in the hospital scenes of Steel Magnolias: restrained grief.
In the end, I lost a dollar. But you know what? For the rest of my life, I can say that I made a stranger AND a doctor do something completely retarded. And for that, it was worth it.
Plus, I'm pretty sure that hot sauce is going to clean MSG out for weeks.
PS - afterwards, went to the Draught House, smoked my first cigar. Felt kind of cool, kind of a tool. Not a bad night, in the end.
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