Adventures of The Yellow Peril

THINGS GOT WEIRD

I'm out of this now. 

ANALYZING MY STRIDE

I'm off to London and Paris for the week. 

When I return, expect much photo uploading.  Topics will probably be limited to:

- What I ate

- Who I saw

- Why it's funny

See ya.

CONGRATULATIONS!

I've also been meaning to do this for weeks, so here goes...

To PH and his fiancee, for getting engaged.  He said he got dressed up in a gorilla suit, snuck up behind her, and yelled, "I'm bananas for you!"  Would've been cool if he'd actually done that, but somehow I'm sure he was subtler than that.

To my friends E & J, who produced this beautiful little boy:

To M, for not picking out a bad bridesmaid's dress for me to wear in September.  I would've worn a burlap sack for you, but the fact that I'm not going to look like a Christmas ornament has earned you my eternal gratitude.

To Blogazon, who won a scholarship that gives him cash money.  That's awesome.

To GHB, for surviving the night.  Any day, any time, J and I will be here for you.

To my sister, who, because of my impending visit, is about to eat the most amazing food here and here.  Omakase!  Bon appetit!

SHOUT OUT

It turns out that the Dean will say whatever we want him to at graduation in order to acknowledge those people who have supported us through our legal education.  There's a strict 25-word limit.

Here's the deal.  Whoever comes up with the funniest 25 words, I will write down, word for word, on my graduation form.  Out of compassion for my mom, I'd like for it to include her.  Also, please pretend like the entire audience will not be not wearing their earmuffs* that day.

Comment away.

* From "Old School" --

Mitch: I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep.
Beanie: Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him, and you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch."
Frank: Cock. Balls.
Beanie: I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.

TO DON'T LIST

I spilled salad all over the floor.  Salad that I was about to eat.  I didn't manage to save a single leaf.

I left a pen uncapped on my bed, leaving two huge black ink stains.  I tried to Shout it out like they say in the commercial, and now there's just a huge gray mess on my duvet cover.

I made an application for next year's mentor program and e-mailed it to the director of the program, but then I forgot to attach it.  The problem is, the application is saved on the computer in the mentor office, so I'm holding things up because I can't send it to her right now.

I keep forgetting that I'm on my undergrad's alumni committee, and they want me to sort through this database to find people I wouldn't mind contacting to ask for money.  When I went through the list though, I couldn't remember anyone.  Also, I'm on the 2001 committee, even though I graduated a year early in 2000.  They put me on that committee, too. 

I fell behind in my clinic work, which meant that I spent all day yesterday reading and responding to letters from inmates.  The letters they wrote me smell funny.  Is that what jail smells like?

I'm not sure where my pants went.  I put them on last night before I went to bed, and now I can't find them. 

I have two pimples on my forehead that make me feel like I'm 13 again.  I might as well have braces and gawky limbs, too.  In an awesome paradox, TWC found a gray hair on my head yesterday. 

I have bought three disappointing cheeses in the last week.  Even the sharp Cheddar, which should be the no-brainer decent choice, tastes kind of like clay and asparagus.

Sigh.